If you're an introvert, you may be looking towards your wedding with some trepidation. Weddings are inherently 'people-y', and when it's your wedding, you're expected to interact with those people.
While some people might say "just don't have many wedding guests", I know that's not always a solution. You want to share your day with the people you care about most, and that can lead to long guest lists. Besides, introverts can be just as easily drained by a few people as by a crowd.
As an introvert and a celebrant, I attend multiple weddings every year, regularly chat with your guests before and after the ceremony, and survive. Let me share my secrets.
Take some alone time.
Whether that's for you and your partner, or you alone, set time aside to be alone. If your ceremony and reception venue are in different places, the travel time between the two is a perfect opportunity. If not, find a break in proceedings to disappear for ten minutes. Sneak off to a quiet spot and decompress. Even if you're not an introvert, I recommend this — you'll appreciate the opportunity to take everything in from a distance.
Don't just disappear, though. Somebody will come to look for you and spoil your moment of solitude.
Let your suppliers know.
Tell your wedding suppliers that you're an introvert. It means we can respect your boundaries and alone time. There's nothing worse than thinking you have a moment to yourself, only for, for example, your photographer to grab you and say "while we have some downtime, let's get a few more shots". Set that time aside; tell your wedding squad, celebrant, photographer and co-ordinator.
Have a buffer.
It's your wedding, so everyone will want to talk to you at some point. If you're marrying an extrovert, this is when they get to shine! Let them field the questions, do the small talk, give the speeches and say the thank yous.
If your partner is also an introvert, choose an extrovert to be in your wedding squad: they are your designated socialiser. Think of them as your wedding party press secretary — they are there to filter out the requests for your attention and make sure you are comfortable with the level of people-ing you're subjected to.
Yeet the line-up.
Honestly, it's draining for everyone; you and your guests. If you have more than 50 guests, it'll take ages to greet every single person in this way, even assuming that a quarter of them will skip the line anyway. Besides, in a post-Covid world, all that handshaking seems unsanitary. You'll have plenty of opportunity to speak to your guests, you don't need a line-up.
Make your vows private.
The part of the ceremony many introverts dread is the vows. That's the most emotional part, and the time when you might feel most vulnerable to all those people looking at you. If that sounds like you, consider private vows.
Share your vows with your betrothed before the ceremony so that you can focus on each other and the words you're saying to each other. During the ceremony, your celebrant can share that you said your vows to each other earlier and either sum up those sentiments or find a poem or reading to express what you shared with each other.
In the end, the important thing to remember is that it's your day. Do what makes you happy and avoid the things that make you overwhelmed. Your wedding, your rules!
Are you an introvert who's planning your wedding? Let's chat! (By email and text, obviously. I'm not going to call you unannounced.)